Having been at this copywriting thing longer than I care to admit, I’m continually baffled by the sheer tonnage of flaccid, bloated writing out there in copy-land.
Don’t tell me what you “can” or “will” do.
When your business provides a product or service, why tippy-toe around the issue with wimpy language like “we will do this” or “we can do that?” All that does is make you sound timid and unsure about what you do (and how you do it).
EXAMPLE 1:
Flabby: “The same day you call, our carpet cleaners can come to your home, where they will work efficiently and quickly.”
Firm: “The same day you call, our carpet cleaners come to your home, working efficiently and quickly.”
EXAMPLE 2:
Flabby: “Burger Binder just may be the most delicious ground beef extender product you can find in your grocer’s freezer!”
Firm: “Burger Binder is the tastiest ground beef extender in your grocer’s freezer!”
Don’t get me wrong here: I’m not saying to over-promise what your company delivers (or write unsubstantiated product effectiveness or superiority declaration checks you simply can’t cash). Just take a long, objective look at all your copy and see how much namby-pamby language you’re actually using. Then hire a skilled, scalpel-wielding copywriter to cut the flab and expose the lean, mean muscle of your messaging.
